queenking | open post

Saxsice flinched; Sam winced, both at the flash of fear and the poor woman's reaction. Knowing she was a werewolf undoubtedly coloured the though of like a kicked puppy but that didn't make it entirely untrue.

"It's just me, and I'm just chillin'. Mind if I sit, too?" Sam gestured vaguely at the arm of the couch (the best place to sit) furthest from Ryan, expression mildly hopeful. It wasn't that she wanted to sit so much as she wanted to help reassure the kid, at least a little, and putting him in control of the space seemed like a way that might work.

Ryan looked between the arm of the couch and Sam a couple times, the gears almost visibly turning in his little head. He'd migrated to holding onto his mother's arm, fingers knotted in her loose sweatshirt. Finally he nodded, glancing up at Saxsice with a silent question.

She immediately shook her head. "You don't gotta talk, it's all good. No pressure here." Towards Sam, she rolled her eyes, elaborating a little: "My momma was big on "yes ma'am" and "no ma'am", and didn't really get that sometimes people don't feel like talkin' for a bit. Different rules in my house, though."

There's all kinds of hurt in the comment, a cruel and ugly backstory that Sam can likely parse out. But Saxsice scoots over a little, pats the arm of the couch. "Pull up an arm, plenty of room."

“Man...” But what could she follow that stall up with? Even as she leisurely stepped over, letting her limp slow her a little more than it otherwise would, Sam gave up and let her mouth run on its own. “Ryan, I'm going to tell you the same thing I told one of my best friends, early on in our friendship. I mean it just as much now, talking to you, as I did then, cause it's a truth: I'm just some asshole, you don't have to listen to me. Running along those same lines? You'll never have to talk to me. You don't even have to look at me, if you don't want. If it's come to that, I'd really appreciate a thumbs up or a thumbs down in response to yes-no questions.”

As she spoke, Sam made her way to and settled onto the couch arm she'd indicated. “Flip side? Whenever you do want to talk to me, you're welcome to. Whether that's during a visit like this one, an email, even a collect call. It's all good. I'm a people person, so I like when someone wants to talk to me, but... I also dislike pressuring people, so there's no push. I promise.”

As she speaks, Ryan tucks into his mom's side, watching Sam quietly, a much-too-solemn look on his face. His hair's all sticking up from sleep, and Saxsice absently smooths it into place, ready to move her hand away if he isn't ready yet. She hopes Sam can feel her silent appreciation for not making a big deal of things, for letting her jumpy, traumatized kid be jumpy and traumatized for a moment. There've been a lot of good, big steps in the last year, but there's still a lot buried deep.

Finally, when Sam stops, Ryan considers for a moment, then nods slowly, indicating his understanding. Saxsice exhales, fluffs up his hair a bit. "You wanna stay out here and chill with us?" He makes a face. "Go to your room, gotcha. Be right back, Sam." They stand, her arm around him, his legs a little wobbly. There's a pause, and Ryan looks very much like he wants to apologize, fix things.

But it passes, and they make their way to the small hallway off the big main room, sidestepping boxes and piles of things. There's plenty to look at in their absence -- random animal bones on the counter, a container of pure white fur, assorted sticks.

In some ways---as she's aware---Sam's not only used to aura sight, but too used to aura sight. It makes reading into a tone of voice on the phone trickier; she rarely calls the betrayal or confession before it happens in a drama or suspense(though she prefers action flicks and b-movies and documentaries anyway). Still... she could probably intuit that appreciation even if she couldn't see it, something between the warmth of embers and light pollution catching low clouds with the city-source still over the horizon, out of sight.

"Sure, no rush. Especially not with me." She'd be the first to joke her two speeds were 'slow' and 'stationary,' even if the lame leg was no real inconvenience. She didn't have to run from things often, and when an exception came up, she had help.

The bones were the most interesting knick-knacks, having the most unanswered questions. What were they from? Where was the rest of the skeleton? Why were they here?

The bones are assorted -- some are clearly from rabbits or birds, held together with what looks suspiciously like hot glue. Then there are the bigger ones, antlers or leg bones, probably all from deer. These latter type all have big, deep gouges in them. Toothmarks.

Saxsice returns within a few minutes, pushing her fingers back through her tangled hair and exhaling long and slow, now that Ryan can't hear her. "Jeez. Sorry. I mean -- I'm not sorry, but. Y'know."

She plops down onto the couch, hard enough to make the springs squeak.

Sometimes the only thing to do what the only thing to do, and so Sam slid off the couch arm, onto the couch proper, and scooted over to pull Saxsice into a side-hug. "Yeah, don't sweat it. You've both been through some stuff. I get that; I respect that. I mean, half the reason I'm here is to help put the brakes on there being more such stuff. It's..."

It's not the same, a small part of her said. The rest answered: This is empathizing. Shut the fuck up.

"It's not too new to me. It might be hard to believe when you're used to the usual me, but there are things that make me incredibly antsy. People don't get rattled without reason; I'm not going to be an ass about it. You want to talk about it, or talk tilts?"

Saxsice is definitely a tactile person, but her type of affection is usually rambunctious, confident, a little teasing. It's the stuff of light-hearted moments. She's not as used to being hugged in comfort. She doesn't let people comfort her, usually.

But it was nice, it soothed the parts of her that were rubbed raw by her boy's exhausted, fearful state. She dropped her head onto Sam's shoulder, letting out a heaving sigh.

"Thanks. It's -- I knew you were good people from the start. It's just. Not somethin' I'm proud of." Saxsice paused, watching the sun reflect off the five or six prisms she'd hung in the windows. "...I mentioned Ryan grew up with my momma, yeah? She's like me, she can change, so can all my cousins and uncles and aunts. Momma was real big on it bein' a gift, somethin' that needed to be protected. So, when Ryan couldn't, it made her...furious. Made her treat him not so good."

A pause, the weight of it hanging in the air. Then: "And I just left him there. For years. Alone."

There's a time and a place for a shoulder-seize, or a playful hipcheck, or even just a pat on the back, but as readily as Sam will enjoy any casual contact with a friend, she's a hugger of note. Having Saxsice accept the side-hug was still something of a relief; it could've been too much, too soon, something to spook at, but no. It was nice, a welcome counterweight to the turn the conversation took.

"Thanks for that. I don't know how you knew, but I'm glad to be well-regarded. And yeah, you said." Nothing about Ryan's growing up came as a surprise, not until that last staggered assertion. "There's a lot you didn't say, too. Between what's been said and unsaid, I still don't know enough to say much myself... but I can say a bad parent has someone's whole life to use against them. No Miranda warning from a mom or dad. My parents are okay. Multiple people in my life? Not as lucky as me."

Saxsice huffs out another sigh, relaxing more -- doing that thing big dogs will do, sometimes, where they just let their entire weight flop against another person. She's surprisingly dense for someone her size, which is almost definitely some sort of weird magic thing -- there's more mass as a wolf than a person, so she has to keep it somewhere.

"Thanks. My childhood was -- fine, weird but fine. Everyone treated me normally. I guess I thought they'd do the same with Ryan, but..." She shrugs. "It's a big deal to all them that he can't change. My momma especially, treats it like a kinda...betrayal. The worst possible thing. I didn't think it'd matter that much, but..."

Then she shakes her head, sitting up straight again. "Can't change the past, gotta move forward."

"As far as I can tell, you've got priorities that make sense. What panned out wasn't what you expected... and it's not a failing to have been expecting different, better. Another friend of mine sometimes puts too much faith in people. Even though we've sometimes kinda fought over it, I'd tell him the same thing. And still mean it." Sam sighed in turn. A moment later, Saxsice was straightening, so Sam let the side-hug become a supportive hand on Saxsice's near shoulder. "You're right. We're going to take a few steps today---building something for you, for your kid. But, wait. One thing?"

Sam's smile was sympathetic, at least a little. It might've been more sympathetic, but mischief had surfaced, and hope with it. "What if we get you a tattoo once we're through with the work? There's got to be a walk-in parlour with good reviews and a solid rep. You could use the endorphins, I could use the enabling."

"Yeah." Saxsice pushes her hair back, offering a little half-smile. "I got better priorities now. I got one priority, and he's in the other room, snoozin'. Everythin' else comes second, from now on. Even if we gotta curse someone to get there."

Then she perks up, grinning. "You gonna do your tilt-y thing to get it to stick? Last time I tried, my body expelled the ink like a scene from that exorcism movie. Puking pores is a sight to see."

"We're not cursing anybody. At worse, we're jinxing somebody. Not that I'm against cursing someone, we just don't need to invest that much." Sam lowered her voice and leaned over. "We don't need him hit by a car. Which is doable, but best avoided unless very very very nearly necessary."

There was probably a way to arrange that kind of car accident with a curse, but point-blank asking Breakdown was also an option, and easier.

"No!" Despite her answer, Sam's grin was bright enough to match Saxsice's. "I'm going to do my thing to get it to stick. It's... not teachable like tilts, but unique to me as far as I know. If anybody else has the same bag of tricks, maybe that Enigma guy, but that's only an if and best guess. That said... I would kinda like to see that. I might be able to replicate it as something to inflict on someone tryin' to start some shit."

"Six of one, half dozen of another," Saxsice says, waving a vague hand. The mention of a car accident has her visibly, seriously considering it...but no, that'd probably be too traumatic for the kid, even if his dad is an ass.

Then she laughs, settling back in her seat. "Well, I won't say no. I've always wanted a tattoo, ever since I was a kid. I used to draw on myself, drove my momma crazy." With a shrug, she adds: "It doesn't hurt, if you wanna see. Piercings do the same thing -- my body just kinda expels them."

"Nah," though it wasn't dismissive; the one of that one word was let's back this up a bit. "As far as I can figure, from what I've seen and done, jinxing has the whole umbrella of bad luck. Someone might get hurt, but it's incidental. In curses as I know them, excluding shit, fuck, sacres, etcetera, the definitive feature is one of two things. Either what's at work is hungry, and a greedy hungry, or a want to hurt that's not far from a jaw clenched so hard it cracks. More than I needed to go on, I know, but normally finding any words to articulate magic stuff is such a struggle I feel stupid, so when good wording actually occurs to me... but now I've embarrassed myself a bit, so Imma move on."

Sam shrugged, not seeming especially embarrassed. She was mildly embarrassed at most, and that was the thing; she'd gotten good at shaking off 'embarrassed' since deciding she couldn't let shame or discomfort hold her back. If the rite of Neptune's Awakening was good for anything ~~other than alarming passersby~~ it was character growth.

But back to the matter at hand, or shoulder, or back, or clavicle. "A tattoo of what, and where? And of course I want to see. I need to see. Skin doing stuff it 'shouldn't be able to' is too much my thing to deny 'no, it's a need.'"

"No, that...that makes sense. I think about if I lose, if that asshole takes my boy from me and..." Saxsice exhales slowly, hands tightening on the couch, nails digging in. "I'd do anything. I don't care how -- risky. I'm not letting Ryan go again."

Then she exhales, shaking it off with a weak smile. "I could -- show you now. Blow off some steam. And I dunno, maybe go all out with a tramp stamp, something suitably 'cool bartender'. Or somethin' bout the kid."

"I like to hear 'I'd do anything, I don't care how--' but it's not going to come to that. If by some fuckin' fluke the tilt doesn't do it, I've got friends to help us tilt the pinball machine. You know and love your kid; he knows and loves you; he wants to stay; he should. Everyone I could turn to if this escalates would agree." Sam would leave if at that, if Saxsice was ready to turn fully to fun stuff; hopefully, the sprawl of 'a friend of a friend' could grant the poor woman some peace of mind, given the kind of stuff Sam saw on the reg.

"Sure and sure and sure---but what would you get for each? And; I get why 'tramp stamp' stuck, but---pet peeve time---I'll die maybe not mad but miffed people are so often so dismissive of excellent designs and their execution just because they're on a portion of the body that also happens to be prime tattoo material. Easily displayed, sizeable, no complications in the neighbourhood. Stepping off my soapbox, 'California licence plate' is the cutest term I've heard for the lower back tat."

"Yeah." Saxsice exhales, lets the frustration and rage go -- Sam's here to help, here to make it so all the catastrophic stuff she's worried about won't happen. So moving on, relaxing back against the couch and talking about tattoos instead.

Which makes her laugh, bemused. "Oh damn, I dunno. It'd never been an option before, y'know? When I was a kid, I used to draw on myself with markers and stuff, but that's the last time I've thought about body mods and all. Also 'California license plate' is pretty damn great, yeah."

"Then I should ask; what would delight you when you were a kind, and now? What's rad? Besides blacklight-reactive ink. When I run out of space, I'm going to get blacklight tattoos over everything else." Sam shook her head, smiling, as if to get herself back on-track. "Skulls are cool. But something for you and your kid would be cool, too. What are your birthdays? We could rip some symbology from that---not just birthstones, but there's associated flowers and such. We could even cannonball into the language of flowers, but if we dip in that direction, I would like to suggest a few blue or purple roses, since they signify magic and enchantment respectively. If it's too frilly, I understand, but it's a thought."

Saxsice chuckles at the mention of the blacklight, leaning back and crossing her arms in thought. "I always liked birds. Owls and ravens and hawks and stuff. Probably because they could fly away? Without consequences? Pretty cliched, huh. My birthday's August 22nd and Ryan's is May 11th. I always liked that, the double numbers. I dunno about birthstones and flowers and stuff. You speak flower?"

Sam shrugged. "Cliched is for boring, predictable plot 'twists' and villainous monologues; for something like this, I'd say it's not cliched so much as the sort of thing that resonates with a lot of people, reliably." She'd seen enough flash art to know.

"I wouldn't go so far as to say I speak flower, but I've done some googling while listening in on consultations, and I've a vested interest in the symbology stuff. So it's more like I'm at the 'Hello? Goodbye? Where's the bathroom? Do you speak English?' proficiency in flower. Buuut..." Sam blew out a breath and looked up at the ceiling. "August is peridot. Gladiolus for the flower. May is emerald, lily for the flower. I have a corny idea, but I'd like to hear if this springboards anything for you before I put it out there."

"You gotta real nice way of sayin' things, y’know? Makes me feel less embarrassed." Saxsice listens, softening in fondness. "I love lilies and I love green. That's -- the first thing that pops up. Dunno what gladilolises look like, though. And your flower speakin' is a solid 10x what I got. Springboard away."

That made Sam laugh aloud---in relief. "So something stuck from when I was an English major! That's surprising, but cool, and I'm glad you said that. Not cause of the ego boost, but because it's so frustrating and embarrassing when I can't find the words for magic stuff, I don't want anybody else to feel frustrated or embarrassed the same way. It's not a good feeling." She shifted enough to lean against Saxsice again, pulling out her phone in the process. Withing a few moments, she had some example gladiolus googled to show Saxsice. "I'm thinking maybe a couple of gladiolus spears, stalks towards your spine, tips towards your sides. Some lilies under them. That's what's visible. Then you bring in the blacklight, and it's an owl, with the gladiolus along the top edge of the wing, the leaves hanging down from the spears mixed in with the feathers, and it's holding the lilies."

Edited 2023-09-11 04:52 (UTC)

Saxsice squints a bit, clearly summoning it up in her imagination. Sam paints a vivid picture, and it comes together looking pretty damn impressive. The blonde grins, clearly enthralled with the idea.

"Damn, go big or go home, huh? I love it, though."

"Well, I've overheard a lot of consultations, and you're a friend. I gotta give you suggestions as far from weaksauce as I'm able; I'm glad you like the first idea." Chuckling, Sam shrugged and put her phone away. "Especially since I haven't thought of a second suggestion yet."

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

cw: non-specific child abuse mention

Re: cw: non-specific child abuse mention

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject